On a question: What it takes to be a good dad? I would answer that it takes to be financially literate and to teach your children about it. He also leads his children always to be curious and the skills of art and trade.
The Internet is full of articles about what it means to be a good father, the roles of a good father, how a father can communicate better with his children, and lists and tips on how a father can better support his family.
Some of the articles I’ve read are good (especially those written by me ;)), but many are not and are just rephrasing what others have already said. Nothing new or insightful.
For some of the articles, I doubt the person who wrote them has any experience about it: academic or personal.
Yet, what I was looking to find: what it takes to be a good dad and how to do that, was elusive and not so easy to find. There are a few words here and there, but nothing where you can say that it has a beginning, a middle, and some applicable conclusions. At least nothing I could find was much helpful. What is available is in the domain of academic theories or the best wishes articles with all rainbows and unicorns. Good luck with both in real life.
I consider myself a good father, and I know a few more good fathers too. While discussing this topic with them, we all concluded that what it takes to be a good father now widely differs from our experience with our fathers.
The more I thought about it, the more curious I was about it. I and the others considered ourselves to be good fathers. How, then, can we not articulate immediately and concisely what it takes to be a good dad? Except to name the list of what it is expected from us to be that. Something was missing, and we all knew it.
I turned on the TV. The first thing I saw was a commercial for Nike. Short, well-done video. But the highlight was the conclusion and Nike’s slogan: “Just do it!”
Well said! I turned off the TV and started searching through my library. There it was. An old book I purchased when I was at the UNI. I considered it pure gold. And then I forgot about it.
“Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki (Rich Dad Poor Dad: The #1 Best-Selling Personal Finance Book Ever).
It was as if I was reading it for the first time. The same book had a very different meaning to me now, but it gave me the insight I needed to move on with my thoughts of what it takes to be a good dad. The answer must be clear, concise, and my own opinion, which I can find complementary to the experience I have had so far.
I spent the next few weeks reading and listening to books, lectures, and podcasts from the authors and content creators I like and find relevant: Simon Sinek (Simon Sinek – The Optimism Company), Jordan B Peterson ((20) Jordan B Peterson – YouTube), Tom Bilyeu ((20) Tom Bilyeu – YouTube), Warren Buffett, and others.
It all went to the same conclusion. I had my answer to the question: “Do you have what it takes to be a good dad?”.
It has two parts:
1. A father needs to become financially literate and learn the business basics.
2. A father needs to teach his kids to sort, understand, absorb, and apply knowledge from three main areas: art, finance, and trade.
Weird answer. Let’s understand what this exactly means. I do not wish to provide other nice lists, which are so prevalent in other articles on the Internet. First, I want to correctly answer this question to myself and then share that knowledge with the other fathers. Now let’s dive into this.
Do you have what it takes to be a good dad? – The conclusions:
1. A father needs to become financially literate and learn the business basics to provide, support, and security to his children.
- Basic level: A father can succeed by understanding essential financial aspects. By this, I mean knowing how to handle his finances correctly, so he earns more than he and his family spend. Or, at least, to be in balance and not rely on credit cards to cover his current costs.
For this, nothing needs to be paid for extra lessons, books, or whatever else. It’s free! All you need is basic math skills (addition and subtraction). You need to know how much you earn and where your money goes.
Conclusion: You need to spend less than what you get.
If you wish to learn more about the essential aspects of finance Internet is full of free articles and videos where you can learn a great deal. All you need to do is take some time to read, watch, learn and practice how to handle this most efficiently.
With this implemented, a good dad will have more control of his finances to fulfill his role as a: provider, capable caretaker, role model, support, to be reliable, and lasting financial support.
This kind of father with basic financial literacy can:
* be more emotionally stable as he will have one of the main stress factors decreased,
* have more time to commit to his family,
* make a more manageable and realistic plan to provide his children with better education and health.
- Advanced level: A father can be more successful by understanding relatively advanced aspects of finance. To know how to handle his finances, as explained above, and how to invest some money safely.
Although I am calling it “Advanced level,” it is relatively simple, but few people understand it. All you need to know for this is the following – if I invest money into something:
* Will it bring me costs (liability), or
* Will it bring me profits in the short, medium, or long run (asset)?
The better you understand this topic, the easier it is. And, again, you don’t need to pay any money for that knowledge. Internet is full of it: https://www.nibusinessinfo.co.uk/content/difference-between-assets-and-liabilities, https://www.freshbooks.com/hub/accounting/assets-and-liabilities, https://corporatefinanceinstitute.com/resources/knowledge/accounting/balance-sheet/, https://www.investopedia.com/terms/l/liability.asp among many other useful sources. If you have someone working as a finance manager or accountant, ask them to give you a few hints and how things work in real life. Dedicate some time and learn.
2. A father needs to teach his kids to sort, understand, absorb, and apply knowledge from three main areas: art, finance, and trade.
- In today’s ever-changing world, the most successful people constantly point out that we must teach our kids to be imaginative and creative. What better way to teach them that than to read and love books, draw, write, and play an instrument? This will help them express themselves, to imagine new ways to do something. To be creative and innovative. To think outside the box. Repetitive jobs will soon be part of history, as stated in numerous reports from ASEAN, United Nations, MIT, and many other relevant institutions. Let’s teach our kids to be part of the future where new applicable practical ideas will be most appreciated.
- Kids can understand much more than we think if we present the topic as exciting and easy to follow as a game. The same can apply to the basics of financial literacy and understanding what assets and liabilities are. Numbers or complicated words are not desirable. No investments are required. You can play with your kids by explaining two states of money: when the invested dollar will be lost or can repay itself and bring more money back.
Examples:
Mobile phone:
Liability: If you buy it so you can talk to your friends and play with it.
Asset: You can use it as in the first case, but if you use it to do jour job and helps you earn money, then it is an asset.
Computer/tablet:
Liability: If you use it just for fun, to watch movies, scroll FB or Instagram.
Asset: You use it to do your job, so it helps you to make money.
Car:
Liability: Personal ownership and use only.
Asset: If you use it in any legal business way to make money, pay off the car, and earn something.
Just give your kids a hint at how this logic works, and soon you will be surprised by the number of ideas your kids will provide you with. My eight-year-old had more within the first 30 minutes than I hoped he would come up with in the first week.
Just imagine if you continue to play this game with them for 10 – 15 years what knowledge and ideas they will have by the time they start to work.
By teaching them to be financially literate from an early age, your kids will learn how to be more prosperous, secure, and escape the financial rat race (for more information, check: What is the Rat Race and how to Escape it, How to Escape The rat Race, Credit Traps and Credit Cycles, “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki, and other).
By applying this, a good father will fulfill his roles of a teacher and educator, positive example, involvement, and problem solver, to be engaged and constantly evolving.
- Trade. I will make it very simple. We are all traders. We trade the time of our lives (working hours) for money. The better trader we are, the more we can earn while spending less time once we are good at it. There is nothing bad about that. That’s how the economy has worked since the dawn of the human race, and I doubt it will change soon.
So let’s do a smart thing and teach our kids how to trade. You can play at home by incentivizing them to come up with good ideas and lead them to logical conclusions.
You will encourage them not to be shy and to fight for their ideas. It will help them when they fight for their grades in school and later to get a better-paid job in their career.
Teach them to accept that not all ideas are good or new so they don’t get discouraged but try harder to come up with something better.
Teach them that you don’t need to have the best story, product, skill, or anything exceptional to be a good trader. It would help if you were skillful in selling it well.
Take a look at any best-selling book or another product worldwide. You will rarely see that it is labeled as the best product. It is the best-selling book/product/service. With capital letters stated clearly, “best-selling.”
Teach your kids to be investigative, to hear what people complain they are not happy with. Then the main goal is to sell your product/idea better than others.
With this, a father will fulfill the roles of mentoring, teaching, encouraging, and being committed and engaged.
As someone with a strong business background and working in top positions in more than a dozen companies (local, international, and government), I can strongly reinforce the above-stated.
Please, do not force your children to learn. Play with them. Teach them by using positive and practical examples and by intriguing their curiosity. Support them when they want to take the initiative and let them learn from the experience. Be there to guide them and give them hints, not solutions, so your children can develop problem-solving skills and test new knowledge and ideas. Let your children grow into healthy individuals with their own opinion. Do not try to make from them your replicas or force them to fulfill your dreams. Be there to pass them your knowledge and experience. Be there to support them when they are unsuccessful and have hard times and decisions to make. Be there whenever they need you, but let them chase their dreams and ideas. Let them know that they are good, trusted, and loved as they are.
There is nothing more important for a father than making his child better than himself and making it succeed by following their path. And your child will do that if you teach it how to be independent, secure, and wise with its time and resources – to be financially literate.
